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That which can not be named

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fuck buddy [28 Aug 2003|06:45pm]
I need a new fuck buddy any guys age 21-27 can call my cell 214-458-4181, no i am not ugly just need new dick, tired of the one i have.
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Long time [28 Aug 2003|06:09pm]
Well hello all its been a long time since I have updated. As you can guess I have gotten a life better than the one before. I stopped hanging with certain problematic individuals, and pretty much stopped hanging out with ugly people, since I am so damn sexy myself. These past few months have been very interesting. Ever since my birthday things have been wild. The sex is the best part of my b-day but I dont want to go into details cause i am not at my house. So well lets think, hmmm I am still a spoiled brat, i dont work, i stopped school. I am still single in a sense and well i dont know what else really there is to say but things have been great. Wow ok well guess it will be several more months till a get in here again or maybe not.
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Yeah [05 May 2003|04:55pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

The alcohol just arrived, soon i will be drunk enough to talk to starbucks guy, maybe we can sneak into the breakroom and have sex on the coffee beans, but i hope that none end up where they dont belong!!!!!

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Another Poem from me [05 May 2003|01:17pm]
I wrote this several months ago and never posted it, so here it goes:

There are things that I have learned
Even though I have been scorned
I've pulled myself up from below
Everything I learned I had to know
Love is something that's not for me
Because of Bobby now I see
Things began to get real bad
and all I could do was be sad
I went and pushed my friends away
Because I wouldn't come out to play
I went and put Bobby first
but now his name I have cursed
With my friends I made a pack
For me to go forward and not look back
Even though I hated my life
I didn't have the courage to use the knife
Every person played their part
it gave to me a strong heart
I know now that I had to lose
to help me see what to choose
It gave to me alot of stregnth
to help me travel the entire legnth
To go on now with my head up high
not to stop, break, or cry
Mistakes are here for us to learn
to help us see which way to turn
to lead us to our final gate
and teach us our own private fate
All my friends helped me to see
that these things were meant to be
that they happened to make me stronger
not to make my sadness longer
It rose me up above it all
so that way i wouldn't fall
And keep my head up and not down
make me smile and not frown
Now that I have learned my way
I'll make my smile last all day
If anyone tries to do me wrong
I'll turn around and sing my song
All the answers are inside
to find them you cannot hide
you have to go search and look
cause the answers are not in a book
If you fall and cannot go
get back up and take it slow
Tell your friends your life story
to help them find thier own glory
so they know you are there
even when live becomes unfair
and when their story begins to end
they'll look up and see a friend.
i forgot all about this one, glad i found it.
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what to do [05 May 2003|12:53pm]
Ok i have several things that i can do today, but i feel to damn lazy to do anything at all. At least i took a shower and ate. Now all i want to do is sit and listen to my radio. Maybe i will go lay out in the sun to darken my self even more. I need a b/f. Sometimes i dont want one but it is summer time, i need one to match my clothes. ha ha ha

Does anyone know of a gay community that i can join, that is not a gay_porn community.

Happy Cinco de Mayo all you fellow latinos out there. Hope you eat as many fajitas as you can. Get drunk as well.

Anyone else see bulletproof monk. I did only to get a bigger crush on Sean William Scott. He is so damn hot, and the clothes he wears makes him look so much better.

Ok thats all for now until someone gives me something to talk about.Have great day ya'll.
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up and awake [05 May 2003|03:04am]
Why is no one online when i can not sleep.
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Forgot something [04 May 2003|11:48pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Who would you let shoot an apple of your head?

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Why does this pop up [04 May 2003|11:46pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Oh i hate people that use instant messenger to talk shit, it is so lame, what are they gonna do type the shit out of me. Telling me to watch my back uh huh, well Jacob try spending less time on yours.

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Something I just heard on tv [04 May 2003|08:42pm]
"Those we hate the most, are those we let touch our hearts. Those we hate we once loved. In our world people love to hate."

Wow I heard that man say that and I had to write it down.
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Ok what the hell! [04 May 2003|06:40pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Ok I helped mary move this weekend. And this guy I just started talking to, havent really gone out with him yet already has the nerve to tell me I hurt his feelings cause I didnt call him yesterday. I have other priorities that dont include him. Besides I was too busy staring at the guy at starbucks, but for some reason i can get up the nerve to ask him for his number, I dont really ever have this problem, bt I get really nervous around him. I know he is interested in me because of the flirting that goes on between us, but why cant i say anything. For some reason I cant really get involved with guys my age, I feel like they are friends more than lovers but with starbucks guy it is different. I want to ask him but I cant. Some one else ask him. Anti you do it. i got joels number and you dissed on him, get me starbucks guy number, ok, i will love you forever and reveal whatever secrets you want to know. I know things on almost every person here in garland, didnt you wonder why i have so many conflicted friends that dont get along with one another. ok then so i can use things like this to my advantage, try it, it really works and no one really cares anymore.

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Hmmm, guess [02 May 2003|11:39am]
[ mood | high ]

"My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late! Prodigous birth of love it is to me, that I must love a loathed enemy." Romeo and Juliet

Anyone else that this applies too.

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New green CHONKLAS [01 May 2003|01:23am]
[ mood | tired ]

Well met an interesting person online today. Talkd on the phone for a while now. just got off the phone. We are meeting tommorrow, to smoke a joint togather, what a first date. Anyways he seems like a real down to earth person that is like me, just hope that he can keep up. He has the looks just hope that he has the brains and knows how to party hard and wont pass out after a couple of shots and several bong hits. That always sucks, well it is bed time now my fucking ear hurts from being on the phone for so damn long, that is for the high school days not now, my head cannot handle long phone conversations anymore.

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I love my gayness!!!!! [30 Apr 2003|11:53am]
[ mood | amused ]

I just went up to 7-11 and this group of girls were there, those dumb blonde bimbos most of us hate, well anyways one of them came to me and asked for my number and all I could do was laugh at her. Then I told her "Honey I don't do girls, I drive stick, sorry." Well she got extremely offended by that. And bitched at me for being sexy and gay, Then they all bitched that all the good looking guys are gay, I laughed at them and said "It's cause I have turned them all, I have a better chance of getting a guy than you, skanks." Then I got my ciggarettes and left. It was great, I love it, I love it alot. Anyone else love their gayness, tell me.

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What to do? [29 Apr 2003|08:39pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Well this world gets shittier everyday. I am so sick of all the bull shit that i get to put up with everyday. My best friends is going through a serious emotional breakdown. And with her like that I feel like I am slipping as well. Each day that passes feels like an hour. The last thing i remember is Christmas. I have no idea where the time has gone, and who has taken it from me. I know that everything that happens or has happened is my own fault, I made my bed so now i have to sleep in it.

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Had a bunch of Jack and coke [28 Apr 2003|12:36pm]
[ mood | curious ]

Ok I woke up a hour ago and I am already drunk. Ok to get to the thing that is bothering me. First I just cleaned my entire room drinking while I was doing it. By the time i was done cleaning I was drunk so everything has worked out just fine. Ok now, I know that I have had a crush on this guy ever since we met a lot of years ago, (at least 7) we have been great friends for those 7. The other day mary did a tarot reading on me(usually i am the one reading peoples cards) and I kept getting cards to deal with wands. Well wands point to the astrological signs of leo's. Well the person I have a crush on is a leo. Then I had her do a reading on him and his signs pointed to me. It was crazy but confirming. At least now I know that there is a chance there that exsists. The past few weeks me and him have gotten closer, and It has been real good, especially since that guy friends dont last that long with me. Some how I get mad because they want to be friends and wont have sex with me. But with this leo sign person it has been different. Our friendship has been great. I mean we have had our spats but we made up. He even told me that I am the only friend that he has had that has lasted this long. It is like in a way I feel that we could be soul mates, but then again who knows. I have been feeling these feelings for a while now, but recently they have been getting stronger, what should I do. Do I take the chance and make things weird, or sit on my crush and remain just friends. I know that on some level we will be more than friends, but I dont want to be the one to force things to go. The thing about this person, hmmmmm, let me tell you how i met him. Ok It was about 6-7 years ago. Ok my grandpa died, and I was really close to him, the closest of anyone in our family. Well I was at home when my mom called and told me. Luckly mary was there so that way i had some on to hug me. Then this person showed up trippin on acid and he made me feel so much better than I did. Ever since then our friendship has out grown anything. Sure we have had our spats, but never any knock down arguements. But fighting with a friend leads to a healthy friendship. ok well let me know ya'lls imput on this.

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Test [28 Apr 2003|12:00am]
[ mood | high ]

I just smoked this hydro my home boo gave me. I am really fricking high, things dont make sense, so i am going to attemt chattin in a msn room. Will let you know the results.

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Days of my life [27 Apr 2003|09:48pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Well the last 2 days have been wonderful, all in all this weekend was great. Ok friday night, I went over to Marys house, where we ended up over at joes (liz and I) then we walked from Joe's to David Sha(something) and tryed to get a bag, oh ya, before davids, we went up to on the border and put incrimating pictures on Cassie's car, just cause she is a filthy whore. Ok then we went back to mary's smoked what mary had then fell asleep.

Ok saturday, Liz and I woke up at about 10 oclock, we got ready and were on the bus by 11 am. First stop was my house, When we got here i made us some eggs and mac and cheese. Then I had Liz shave my head(it feels so much better. plus i got hit on more with a bald head) ok after that we went up to walmart so Liz could buy some new tanktops and flip flops (a.k.a. chonklas'). Ok after walmart we went to joes and finally got our sack, then we hung with joe until 850 when we jumped back on the bus and headed to the train station. Ok we get to Downtown dallas, and we got lost. I felt so stupid, we started walking the way we came. But then we rolled a joint in some scary alley and we got high and found our way to Ellum. When we got there there were God people everywhere passing out flyers. there was even this one guy that followed me and liz around for like 15 mins talking about how we have not accepted god into our lives, and how we could die that night and not know where our souls are going, well i told him that he could die within the next 2 minutes if he did not go away. Well I think he got my point cause he said all evil will be cleansed and walked away, Well after that we finally went in to the club and had a blast until 4 this morning, when we went back to joes,, and fell asleep.

Today, well when we woke up at joes, we went to cici's and ate lunch, then to marys, while at marys, nick showed up with john roth, well we went to Vikon Village where I bought some incense and cotton candy, then i saw a man selling snow cones and i had to have one. After we left there we went down to duck creek where we smoked once again, and me and liz played in the creek. It was so much fun. We were in the water for a good 3 hours. But it was so relaxing sitting letting that really cold water rush against my hot sweety skin. Then as I stood up the beads of water slid down my silky smooth skin, glistening from the sun as they rolled down. lol

Ok thats all that happened so far, but i m sure if i smoke a bowl then i will be able to write some more, i cant think of anything else right now. so will post later.

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hmmm, thoughts, memories, and nightmares [25 Apr 2003|06:25pm]
[ mood | lolly gaging ]

Ok whatever happened to radio. Most of the songs are commercials. All you really have to do is go buy one of those Now thats what i call music cd's and you can have you own radio station in your room. Ha Ha Ha. I have tons of compilation cd's so i dont have to listen to the damn radio, but sometimes i get bored with mtv im sure everyone knows what i am talking about. yep we all probably complain about it in some way or the other. Anyways whatever. I have nothing to talk about. I am out of ciggarettes, and i have no alcohol, i must make a journey to the beer store and get me a bottle of bacardi, ok whatever.

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plans for tonight [25 Apr 2003|03:21pm]
[ mood | amused ]

anyone going to DNA tonight or any other club in Ellum? What about tommorrow night too?

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Finally a Kyle [24 Apr 2003|06:51pm]
Well I just got so drunk that I started dancing in Sports City Cafe. I got my freak on to "Get ur freak on" right in the middle of the bar, how funny. I drank so much there, the waiter wanted me to get drunk. He was flirting with me in front of my family. It was great. I have never acted like this in front of my mom before and she laughed so much, it made me happy to see her happy again after everything that has been going on here. Things have been rough but we have gotten through things so far. I have been listening to my Missy Elliot "...so addictive" cd alot these past few day, espically "4 my people" I love missy elliot, she always comes up with good music, like "gossip folk" that song is great, i can shake my ass like there is no tommorrow to that song, but anyways, finally a Kyle!!!!
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